The Chains of Could Have, Might Have, Should Have

Hi there wild ones! 🐆

I have recently found myself in multiple conversations with clients, colleagues and my circle of wisdom about 3 somewhat haunting phrases. The phrases of  "could have, might have, should have" can be likened to disruptive vines in the jungle of life that often hold us back. It is so fascinating how often they arise, inviting us to shift our reflections of the past as we ponder over paths we did not take and the decisions we did not make.

“The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have & should have.” ~Unknown

Life is an adventure that includes moments of navigating the jungle of regret, filled with twists, turns and undiscovered paths. Sometimes, we get stuck. We find ourselves entangled by the vines of regret, second-guessing every step we take. Regret is a powerful emotion that has the capacity to weigh us down like an anchor. These thoughts, the "could have, might have, should have" moments, can be like quicksand, pulling us deeper into the past and away from the present.

 "Could have" is the heavy backpack we carry through the jungle. This backpack is loaded with the potential paths we didn't take, the projects that are yet to be completed, the words we didn't speak, the opportunities we let through our fingers Every step is harder to make from being burdened by the weight of what could have been. 

This backpack is a reminder of the importance of taking risks and living with curiosity, free from the weight of regret. Let me share something with you: you no longer need to carry this load. Acknowledge it, learn from it and then, let it go. Lighten your backpack and move forward with a newfound sense of freedom.  

"Might have" is the mysterious fog that clouds our vision, making it hard to see the path ahead. It represents the fear of the unknown, the hesitation that hold us back from seizing opportunities., the alternate routes we considered but were too afraid to take, haunted by the question of "What if?"

How many times have you been at a crossroads, unsure about the best route to take, and ended up not moving at all? To break free from this fog, welcome each new experience and cherish the adventure! Take a step, any step. Trust your instincts and know that every path is a learning experience.

"Should have" is exhausting, perhaps the heaviest of these 3 phrases. It represents the actions we believe we were supposed to take, influenced by external expectations rather than our genuine desires.

This is the toughest vine to cut through because it is so deeply rooted in our self-perception. It traps us in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction, forever chasing an enigma of ourselves. This constant comparison to an ideal self we believe we should be is often restrictive and disempowering.

You define your journey. Release yourself from these expectations and regrets as you follow the stars as they guide you, even on the darkest of nights. To break free from the grip of could have, might have, and should have, we must first acknowledge their presence in our lives.

How do we break free from these chains?

Keep reading for some wild tips to help you navigate your way through the journey of life, as you explore learn, grow & thrive.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that you are doing your best in all circumstances with what the knowledge & resources you have in each moment. Forgive yourself for any shortcomings and move forward courageously with your journey.

Stay Present: Focus on the present moment. The jungle is so much more beautiful when you are fully immersed in it. The past is unable to be changed, but you do have control over your present actions. Practice mindfulness and stay grounded in the present moment. This is where your power lies.

Value Uniqueness: Life is about the adventure rather than being ‘perfect’. Mistakes are a natural part of growth. Each misstep is an opportunity to learn and evolve. Value the wildness and uniqueness of your journey.

Set Intentions rather than Expectations: Forget the "could have, might have, should have" and focus on what you need and desire. Set flexible intentions that resonate with yourself and allow more flow.

Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate all your achievements, no matter how small or big. Each step forward is progress and deserves recognition.

Life is a wild yet beautiful adventure and you are a free spirit, the fearless explorer, the adventure seeker the decision maker, the risk taker, the trailblazer of YOUR LIFE. You are also a chain breaker and the game changer. The vines of "could have, might have, should have" will no longer hold you back. Cut through them with determination while you boldly and courageously step into your future.

The jungle of life is vast and filled with endless possibilities. Embrace it, live it, love it and let go of any regrets that try to bind you.

Life is too short to be shackled by regret - we can all make a conscious effort to break free from these chains. We can also choose to live with intention, find beauty in imperfection and celebrate the beauty of our journey. After all, the most powerful moments of our lives are those in which we are fully present, unrestricted by the shadows of the past.

Reflecting on these discussions with clients and friends, it is clear that rising above regret is a universal challenge. A journey of immense growth and liberation. It is time for is to support each other in this quest, encouraging one another to step into the present and forge a future unobstructed by the could have, might have and should have.

Until next time, keep exploring, keep growing and stay wild.

With love and curiosity,

Hannah 🌿