Ignite Compassion

“Compassion is one of the most powerful forces we have. It connects us, heals us, and helps us navigate the world with kindness and understanding. Compassion starts with how we treat ourselves.”

These words have taken years for me to fully understand. I used to believe that strength meant pushing through, being tough, never slowing down. I thought success was about proving myself, about striving, about always doing more. I thought if I was hard enough on myself, I could shape myself into something “better.”

The truth is—softening is where the real strength is.

Compassion is not weakness.

Softness is not surrender.

Slowing down is not failure.

When we ignite compassion within, we create a wellspring of empathy that flows outward, touching the lives of those around us. Compassion is the most radical and powerful thing we can offer ourselves. It has the power to transform not only the receiver but also the giver, creating ripples of positive change that extend far beyond the initial act.

For years, I held myself to impossible standards. I was relentless in my pursuit of excellence, telling myself that if I could just be better, stronger, more disciplined, then I would be worthy of rest, of joy, of love.

I pushed my body beyond exhaustion, ignored the whispers of my intuition, and silenced the voice inside me that said, please, slow down. I was running on empty, believing that self-compassion was indulgent, believing that kindness to myself would somehow make me less successful, less driven, less capable.

One day, I caught myself in a moment of exhaustion—my body aching, my mind foggy, my heart heavy with self-doubt. I had been running on empty, holding myself to impossible standards. 

I would never speak to a friend this way, so why on earth was I speaking to myself this way?

I was close to reaching a breaking point.

I remember the exact moment. I was sitting on the beach, watching the waves roll in, tears falling down my face. My heart was racing, my muscles ached from tension, my mind was clouded with self-doubt. I had spent so much time holding myself to impossible expectations that I was unable to see the toll it was taking.

In this moment for the first time in a really long time, I softened.

I placed a hand over my heart. I took a deep breath and I whispered: I’m doing my best.

That small act of self-compassion cracked something open in me.

Instead of pushing harder, I listened. Instead of ignoring my needs, I honoured them. Instead of being at war with myself, I chose to be on my own side. 

I gave myself the grace I had so freely given to others and in doing so, I became stronger—not in a hardened way, but in a way that allowed me to show up with more love, more presence, more resilience.

You might like to take a moment and ask yourself the following questions. 

How do I speak to myself when I make a mistake?

Am I giving myself the grace and compassion I deserve?

When we nurture self-compassion, we are not just healing ourselves—we create a foundation of love that we can share with the world.

Psychologist Paul Gilbert, founder of Compassion Focused Therapy, defines compassion as a sensitivity to suffering—a willingness to notice and acknowledge pain in ourselves and others—paired with a commitment to alleviating that suffering by taking steps, big or small, to offer kindness, support or relief.

Compassion is an active force. It is the hand that reaches out, the voice that soothes, and the presence that reassures.

Just as fire needs fuel, compassion must be nurtured—starting from within.

So often, we offer kindness and patience to those around us, yet we deny ourselves the same grace. We believe that being hard on ourselves will somehow make us better. But the reality is—true growth comes from compassion, not criticism.

When we treat ourselves with gentleness, we cultivate resilience.

When we acknowledge our own suffering, we create space for healing.

When we soften, we don’t lose our strength—we embody it.

Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned physician and expert in trauma and addiction, speaks about how true healing comes not from suppressing pain but from meeting it with curiosity and compassion. His approach, called Compassionate Inquiry, teaches us to look beyond behaviors and symptoms to the deeper wounds beneath.

Maté eloquently says “Before we ask, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ we should ask, ‘What happened to me?’”

This perspective changed everything for me.

Instead of criticising myself for feeling overwhelmed, I started asking deeper questions:

What is this exhaustion trying to tell me?

Where did I learn to believe I had to push myself this hard?

What would it feel like to meet myself with gentleness instead of judgment?

When we meet our struggles with compassionate inquiry, we begin to understand that every reaction, every habit, every place we feel stuck has a reason. We are not broken—we are simply humans on a journey carrying wounds that are asking to be seen, understood and healed.

Before we can offer compassion to others, we must first learn to be kind to ourselves.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, defines it as having three key components: self-kindness, which involves being gentle with ourselves in the face of challenges rather than overly critical; common humanity, the recognition that suffering and imperfection are a natural part of the shared human experience; and mindfulness, the practice of being present with our emotions without judgment, neither suppressing nor exaggerating them.

For me, self-compassion meant learning to soften—to allow myself to rest without guilt, to celebrate progress instead of only seeing what still needed improvement, to recognise that I was worthy just as I was, not only when I met a goal or achieved success.

Self-compassion changed everything.

One of the most surprising things I have learned is that happiness is a choice, a practice, a way of being.

I used to believe happiness would come after I had achieved enough, after I had done enough, after I had proved myself.

When we are happy:

😀 We make better decisions from a place of love rather than fear.

😀 We attract positive people and opportunities that align with our energy.

😀 We create a life that feels good now instead of waiting for an external milestone to bring fulfillment.

Happiness is deeply tied to compassion.

The more we treat ourselves and others with kindness, the more joy we cultivate. Life is not about chasing happiness—it is about choosing it, creating it and allowing it to flow through every moment.

The truth is:

😃 Happiness is not a reward at the end of success. It is the starting point.

😀 When we cultivate inner happiness, we naturally extend more warmth and kindness to others.

😀 The more we treat ourselves with compassion, the more joy we cultivate. 

Have you ever noticed how your body responds when you are truly happy?

Your muscles relax.

Your breath becomes deeper.

Your heart beats at a calmer, more steady rhythm.

Your digestion improves.

Your energy becomes lighter, freer.

I feel this every time I go for a run—when my feet hit whatever terrain I am running on, my breath syncs with my movement and my body feels alive.
I also feel it when I dance—when I let the music guide me, when I stop thinking about how I should move and simply allow my body to respond. There is something about moving from a place of joy and love that reminds me how deeply connected happiness and physical well-being are.

Whether it’s the rhythmic pounding of my steps on the ground or the fluid, instinctive sway of my hips to a song that speaks to my soul, movement is a gateway to presence, release, and pure, embodied aliveness. Laughing with loved ones, dancing in my kitchen, swimming under the sun—every time I choose happiness, my body responds in kind.

The next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself:

What small moment of joy can I invite into my day?

How can I shift my focus from stress to gratitude?

When I am happy, my body is happy, and I am sure when you are happy your body is also happy.

As I shared above, compassion is so much more than just a feeling—it is an action, extending far beyond how we treat ourselves to how we show up for others.

Small acts of kindness can change lives:

💛 Leaving a voice note for a friend just to say, “I appreciate you.”

💛 Holding space for tears of someone else, without trying to stop them or ‘fix’ them.

💛 Offering a warm smile to a stranger, knowing it might be the brightest moment of their day.

Compassion is about presence, connection and love in the small moments.

Take a moment to ask yourself:

🩷 How do I speak to myself when I make a mistake?

🩷 Am I giving myself the grace and compassion I deserve?

🩷 How can I show myself more compassion today?

🩷 Who in my life could benefit from a small act of kindness?

🩷 What simple actions can I take to ignite empathy and understanding in my community?

🩷 What small moment of joy can I invite into my day?

As we move through life, it is important to remember that compassion is a powerful force for change.

By nurturing ourselves and others with love, kindness and compassion, we create a world that feels more connected, more understanding, more vibrant.

The work by Dr. Gabor Maté on Compassionate Inquiry has deeply influenced my understanding of suffering and healing. His approach teaches us to look beyond behaviours and symptoms to understand what lies beneath. When we meet suffering with curiosity instead of judgment, we create space for true healing

If I could leave you with one thing, it would be this: meet yourself with compassion, because healing begins with kindness; every wound you carry has a story, and honouring that story is the first step toward transformation; every reaction, every struggle, every place you feel stuck makes sense when viewed through the lens of love; growth is not about perfection but about presence; your worth is not measured by your productivity but by the love you give yourself and others; and you are already enough, exactly as you are, in this moment, you always have been and you always will be.

Compassion heals.

Inquiry transforms.

Love liberates.

What acts of compassion are you igniting today?

Share your stories in the comments—I would love to celebrate and learn from your experiences!

When we soften, when we choose love over fear, we don’t lose ourselves—we come home to who we’ve been all along.