Hold Me, Hear Me, Help Me, Honour Me, Heal Me: The 5 Love Languages Reimagined
Jul 06, 2025
There is a quiet kind of magic in being truly understood.
In someone pouring your tea just how you like it without asking.
In a warm hand resting gently on your back at the exact moment you needed grounding.
In someone picking up your favourite snack or whispering, “I’m proud of you” and the words landing in the places you didn’t know were aching.
There is a wild kind of tenderness in those moments.
In the silent knowing.
In a handwritten letter that says, “I see you. I know you. I love you.”
In gestures that ask for nothing, yet offer everything.
That magic often speaks through love languages—the invisible threads that help us feel safe, cherished, and deeply seen.
It’s a language that lives in the heart, moves through the body and lingers long after the moment has passed.
That language is your love language.
When someone speaks it fluently, you don’t just hear it.
You feel it.
Originally introduced by author and relationship counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, the 5 Love Languages offer a powerful framework for understanding how we give, receive and feel love, not only in our relationships with others but within ourselves.
Through decades of working with couples, Dr. Chapman noticed a recurring theme.
The theme of people trying to show love but their efforts were often lost in translation.
What felt like deep, heartfelt love to one person might barely register for another, simply because it wasn’t being expressed in the language they naturally understood.
In his bestselling 1992 book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Chapman introduced a simple yet transformative idea.
We all speak love differently.
We all receive love differently, too.
The five love languages became a bridge.
A way to reconnect not only with your partner, but also with your child, your friend, your family… and most beautifully, yourself.
Understanding these love languages is about romance.
It’s about cultivating deeper connection with others and within.
It is also about learning how to feel appreciated, express care and build meaningful bonds by tuning in to the ways love is most naturally spoken.
The 5 love languages are much more than just a concept.
They are an invitation into presence, into conscious care and into love that is both attuned and embodied.
When we learn our own love language and begin to listen for the languages of others, we move closer to the kind of love that heals, holds and lasts.
While Dr. Gary Chapman offered a powerful framework, I have come to see these five love languages through a more intuitive, emotional lens that speaks not just to the mind, but to the heart, the body and the soul.
This is my reimagining of the 5 love languages.
Hear Me.
Hold Me.
Hold Me.
Help Me.
Honour Me.
Heal Me.
A softer, deeper translation of what each love language truly asks for.
Words of Affirmation → Hear Me
Speak to me with tenderness, truth and presence.
I desire to be heard not just with ears but with heart.
Hear me when I can’t quite find the words myself.
Physical Touch → Hold Me
Wrap me in your presence through a hug, a hand, a brush of connection.
Let your touch say, “I am here, I’ve got you.”
Hold me when the world feels too loud.
Acts of Service → Help Me
Show your love in action.
Ease my burdens, walk beside me and remind me I am not alone.
Help me feel supported, seen and safe.
Quality Time → Honour Me
Give me your time, your full attention, your unhurried soul.
Let us be here together free from distractions.
Honour me by choosing presence over everything else.
Gifts → Heal Me
Let your offering be a reflection of love.
A note, a token, a memory.
Something that whispers, “I see you.”
Heal me with the thoughtfulness that lingers long after the gift is given.
The time has arrived to explore each love language not only as a definition but as a felt experience.
Into the feeling.
Into the healing.
Into the soft shaping that happens when love is expressed through presence, gestures and intention.
Words of Affirmation
Love as language. Spoken. Written. Echoed.
If this is your love language, kind words are nice but they are necessary.
Words become anchors.
Words become anchors.
Encouragement becomes medicine.
A single phrase can root you, lift you and soften your entire being.
You feel loved when…
You receive heartfelt messages or affirming texts
Someone says, “I believe in you” and you know they mean it
Your efforts are acknowledged aloud
A friend says, “You have grown so much, and I see it.”
A partner reminds you, “You are doing your best and that is enough.”
Someone compliments your character not just your achievements
A voice note from a loved one lifts your whole day
You receive a spontaneous “I appreciate you” message
A mentor or colleague says, “Your presence makes a difference.”
Someone notices the little things you do and thanks you for them
Someone notices the little things you do and thanks you for them
Someone speaks encouragement over your dreams when you are doubting yourself
Real life examples…
A soul sister writes you a birthday card that brings tears to your eyes and joy to your heart
A partner whispers, “I am proud of you” after a long day
A parent says, “I see how hard you are trying.”
A friend says, “You always know how to make people feel better and I am so grateful.”
A client messages, “Working with you has changed my life.”
A teammate says, “I love how you bring calm energy into chaos.”
A colleague tells you, “You inspire me to show up more fully.”
A mentor says, “You are not only capable—you are ready.”
Self-love expression:
Speak affirmations into the mirror like sacred truth
Record voice memos of encouragement to yourself
Write a love letter to the person you are becoming
Acts of Service
Love as action. Quiet. Supportive. Intentional.
If this is your love language, words may fall flat unless they are backed by action.
You feel most loved when someone eases your burden, shows up to help or takes care of the little things before you even ask.
You feel most loved when someone eases your burden, shows up to help or takes care of the little things before you even ask.
You feel loved when…
A friend helps tidy up when you are overwhelmed
A partner takes initiative to care for your needs
A colleague jumps in to lighten your workload without you asking
Your loved one remembers your to-do list and completes something for you
Someone runs an errand for you on a busy day
A partner says, “I took care of it so you don’t have to worry”
Someone anticipates your needs and responds without being prompted
You are given space to rest while someone else handles the responsibilities
Real life examples of acts of service…
A friend drops off nourishing soup when you are unwell
A colleague stays late to help you finish a task
A partner washes the dishes so you can rest
A housemate fills up your car with petrol without being asked
A friend offers to child or let mind so you can have a night to yourself
A sibling helps you move house without complaint
A partner cooks breakfast just the way you like it
A teammate covers your shift when you need a break
Someone organises your workspace to help you feel more calm
A friend texts, “I booked that appointment for you as you mentioned it was hard to call”
Self-love expression:
π² Cook yourself nourishing meals with care
π§Ί Create loving routines that support your nervous system
π―οΈ Clear and reset your space with sacred intention
Receiving Gifts
Love as symbolism. Tangible. Thoughtful. Heartfelt.
If this is your love language, it is all about meaning rather than materialism.
A well-chosen gift becomes a physical reminder that you are known, remembered and deeply cherished.
A well-chosen gift becomes a physical reminder that you are known, remembered and deeply cherished.
You feel loved when…
Someone brings you a small surprise that reminded them of you
You receive something handmade or personal
A gift reflects your personality or emotional world
A loved one gives you a book they know you will treasure
Someone brings back a souvenir from a trip and says, “this reminded me of you”
A friend gives you a flower from their garden
You are gifted something thoughtful during a milestone or transition
Someone leaves a note and a small token on your desk
A friend sends you a playlist or a printed photo as a keepsake
Real-life examples:
A partner buying a book you casually mentioned weeks ago
A child drawing you a picture with love in every line
A loved one giving you a necklace with your birthstone
A friend leaving a candle or essential oil on your doorstep
A colleague surprising you with your favourite tea or coffee
A partner framing a photo from a special memory together
A family member gifting you a handmade item or heirloom
A friend sending you a care package during a tough time
A grandparent passing down a cherished keepsake “just because”
A mentor gifting you a meaningful book with a handwritten note inside
Self-love expression:
π Buy yourself fresh flowers because you can
π Wrap a small gift for yourself with care
π¦ Create a self-care box filled with tokens that lift your spirit
Quality Time
Love as presence. Unrushed. Undivided. Intentional.
If this is your language, nothing matters more than the full, undistracted presence of another person.
It’s not just about time—it’s about attention.
It’s not just about time—it’s about attention.
Shared moments become sacred.
You feel loved when…
Someone truly listens without distractions
You are invited into meaningful experiences together
A friend chooses to spend a whole afternoon with you
Your partner plans a date that reflects your shared interests
You are included in important moments or milestone.
A loved one turns off all devices to be fully present with you
You are offered space to share your thoughts, feelings and dreams
A friend shows up just to “be with you,” Someone says, “I want to hear more—tell me everything” and means it
Real-life examples:
A friend puts their phone away to be fully present with you
A weekend getaway with your partner to reconnect
Sharing conversation and food without rushing
Sitting under the stars talking about life, dreams, and everything in between
Sitting under the stars talking about life, dreams, and everything in between
Taking a walk together with the only being in each others company
Cooking dinner side-by-side, dancing to your favourite playlist
A parent planning a one-on-one outing just for the two of you
Reading together in the same room, quietly enjoying the shared space
A friend showing up to spend time with you during a tough week
Watching a movie together with meaningful cuddles and conversation afterwards
A partner planning a surprise date tailored to your shared memories
Your soul family inviting you to go on a spontaneous road trip
Someone staying up late just to talk and make sure you feel heard
Self-love expression:
πΏ Take yourself on solo dates—walks, cafés, stargazing
π―οΈ Light a candle and journal by your own side
π Block out sacred time for rest, reflection and renewal
Physical Touch
Love as closeness. Felt in the body. Grounded in connection.
If this is your love language, physical affection isn’t optional—it is essential.
You feel most safe, soothed and connected through loving touch.
You feel most safe, soothed and connected through loving touch.
You feel loved when…
You receive a spontaneous hug or back rub
Physical presence speaks louder than words
You hold hands with a loved one while walking and feel a deep sense of connection
A loved one cuddles close while watching a movie
A friend links arms with you during a walk in a way that says “I am here”
A partner wraps their arms around you when you feel overwhelmed
You feel warmth and safety just sitting beside someone you love
A child snuggles into your lap without saying a word
Real-life examples:
A long hug after an emotional day
Sitting close with someone in silence and feeling held
A partner brushing your hair from your face tenderly
A loved one rubbing your back gently when you are feeling unsure
Holding hands during a tough conversation
Cuddling under a blanket while watching your favourite movie
A gentle touch on the arm as someone passes by just to say “I see you”
A warm embrace at the airport after time apart
Self-love expression:
π€² Place a hand on your heart or belly and breathe deeply
𧴠Use warm oil for self-massage or scalp rituals
ποΈ Wrap yourself in a soft blanket or weighted comfort
These love languages aren’t rules, they are reflections.
They reveal how we feel safe, seen, soothed and supported.
They guide us toward deeper relationships starting with the one we have with ourselves.
When you understand your love language, you begin to speak to yourself in the way your soul has always needed to hear.
When others learn to speak love languages that is where the magic lives.
We often give love in the way we most long to receive it.
Sometimes, the language we speak isn’t the one our partner, friend or child naturally understands—and that is where miscommunication can quietly slip in.
Take a breath.
Tune in.
Let this be a moment of gentle reflection.
What do you long for when you feel disconnected?
What small gestures make you feel deeply safe, cherished and seen?
How do you instinctively show love to others?
You might find that your primary love language is crystal clear or perhaps you resonate with more than one and that is more than okay.
We are beautifully layered humans, and our emotional needs often shift with our seasons of life, healing journeys and relationships.
Take a moment to pause as you ask yourself:
π What lights me up when I feel unseen?
π What have I quietly craved in my relationships?
π What kind of love do I give most freely?
You may notice that the love you offer others is not always the same kind you deeply need for yourself.
That awareness alone can be transformational.
Your love language might be dominant, a delicate mix or one that has changed as you have grown.
Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is to name it, to speak it out loud and to honour what your heart truly desires.
The first step to receiving the love you need… is understanding how you receive it best.
I have danced with all 5 love languages throughout my life.
As a child, I was most nourished by quality time and acts of service.
I felt loved when someone sat with me without distraction—reading, playing, simply being there.
When someone helped with my hair before school or packed my favourite lunch, it told me, without words, “You are cared for.”
As a teenager, words of affirmation became my anchor.
I longed to be understood in a world that often felt loud and confusing.
I often clung to kind texts from friends, meaningful conversations with teachers, and any sentence that reminded me I belonged.
I craved verbal reminders that I mattered—that I was enough.
In my early twenties, I clung tightly to words.
I needed someone to say, “You matter.”
I desired to hear, “You are doing okay,” or “I’m proud of you.”
Affirmations I hadn’t yet learned to whisper to myself became everything.
I searched for love in sentences—in birthday cards, in text messages, in long conversations at midnight.
I searched for it in the way someone said my name, in the quiet pauses between compliments, in the rare but golden moments when someone saw past my smile and offered me the softness I was too scared to ask for.
I looked for love in the voice of others because I was still finding my own voice.
Words became my anchor.
Encouragement became my medicine.
I hoped, perhaps, that the right phrase might patch the places I was still learning to hold with grace.
Back then, I had no idea how to speak to myself with kindness.
I didn’t know that I could be both student and teacher of love—especially the kind I most needed to receive.
That is the beauty of love languages.
They shift.
They evolve with us.
The ones we once reached for outside ourselves often become the ones we learn to offer inward.
Now, in the calm surrender of my thirties, I melt into quality time and physical touch.
Give me a slow afternoon under trees glowing in the sun, a sunrise walk hand-in-hand with my love, or the quiet grounding of someone’s hand resting gently on my back and I feel unconditionally, wildly loved.
The biggest shift has been learning to give myself those expressions of love first.
To wrap myself in presence.
To speak my own language before waiting for someone else to translate it.
To show up for my heart in the ways it always wanted someone else to.
Love evolves—just like we do.
When we trace our love languages through each season of life, we begin to understand the deepest needs of our inner child, our teenage self and the woman we are today.
Self-love has become a sacred practice of listening inward:
βοΈQuiet mornings just for me
π―οΈ Heart-led and nourishing rituals
π Heartfelt words spoken to the mirror
π« Presence that doesn’t rush or judge
πΈ Holding my heart when it aches instead of rushing it to heal
π Journaling what I feel not just what I think
π² Preparing meals with intention and love
π Long baths with oils, salts and music that soothes my soul
πΆ Playing songs that remind me I am allowed to feel it all
π€ Wrapping myself in softness—blankets, breath and grace
π¨ Creating for the joy of it
π¬οΈ Breathing deeply into the moment, again and again
πͺΆRemembering that devotion to self is a radical act of love
When I started loving myself in my own language everything changed.
I stopped waiting to be saved.
I stopped waiting to be chosen.
I started choosing myself.
I have come to understand that your love language may shift with your seasons.
It may soften, expand or evolve as you do.
That is the beauty of being human—layered, alive and ever-changing.
The one thing that stays true…..
Love begins within.
Learn your language.
Speak it fluently to yourself.
Watch how it transforms every relationship around you.
These journal prompts are here to help you reflect, connect and explore the many ways love shows up in your life through memory, relationship, self-care and presence.
Let them be doorways into your heart, your history, and your healing. Into the language of your past, your present and your becoming.
What makes me feel most deeply loved, safe and understood?
When was the last time I felt fully seen or truly cared for? What happened?
How do I naturally show love to others? Is it also how I like to receive it?
What did love look, feel and sound like in my home growing up? Was it spoken, shown, assumed?
What do I tend to crave most when I feel lonely, overwhelmed or disconnected?
Which love language feels hardest for me to receive? Why might that be? What still feels tender?
How can I speak my own love language through daily self-care?
What love language does my partner, child or closest friend seem to speak? How can I honour their love language without abandoning mine?
What is my current relationship to receiving love? What am I still learning to open to?
What does aligned, unconditional, wild, wholehearted love look like for me now?
Let these questions guide you inward with compassion, curiosity and clarity. There is no right answer only a deeper knowing.
You are worthy of a love that speaks your language… starting with your own.
The poem you are about to read, an original Wild Wellness with Hannah piece titled “The Language of Love” is a heartfelt invitation to explore the tender, timeless ways love speaks through touch, time, words, gestures and gifts.
May it remind you that love, in all its forms is a language worth learning.
May it remind you that love, in all its forms is a language worth learning.
Speak to me in the language I understand.
Not just words,
But the pause between them.
Not just touch,
But the warmth in your stillness.
Bring me roses, or bring me tea—
It’s the thought, not the thing,
That makes my soul lean in.
Sit with me, unhurried.
Let your silence say:
“I see you.”
“I choose you.”
“I am here.”
Or write me a note,
Leave it tucked in a drawer
For no reason at all—
Except love.
These are the ways love moves—
Not in grand gestures,
But in the quiet knowing:
I matter.
To you.
To me.
To this wild, wonderful world.
Love is a language worth learning and the more fluently we speak love toward ourselves and others the more connected, cherished and truly seen we feel.
Whether your love language is time, touch, words, gifts or acts of service
Whether you are learning to love yourself for the first time… or finding your way back after heartbreak…
Whether you are learning to love yourself for the first time… or finding your way back after heartbreak…
Whether you are deepening your relationships or gently reopening your heart…
Love isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it’s whispered in the smallest gestures.
A hand held.
A word spoken.
A presence felt.
Love speaks in the language you have been longing for—maybe all your life.
Speak it.
Write it.
Write it.
Live it.
Let it be wild.
Let it be true.
Let it be yours.
There is no perfect way to love.
No one-size-fits-all expression.
When we learn our own language and begin to listen for the languages of others we start to bridge the quiet gap between giving and receiving.
Whether you are learning to love yourself more deeply or longing to connect more meaningfully with the people in your world— know this:
Love speaks softly.
It arrives slowly.
It speaks in the way your heart and soul is finally ready to hear.
May you give love freely.
May you receive it fully.
May you speak your love language boldly, wildly and without apology.
There is no right or wrong love language.
There is only the unfolding.
The remembering of how you were always meant to love and to be loved.
Speak it boldly.
Receive it gently.
Celebrate the love that already lives in your life… and the love that is still learning how to land.
You are worthy of love in the language that makes your heart and soul feel most at home.
Each of us feels, shows and speaks love in our own beautiful way.
Now that you have explored the 5 Love Languages, it is time to uncover your own.
Take the quiz to discover your unique love language with personalised insights to nurture your relationships with others and most importantly with yourself.
